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How Love Changes Your Brain – Flowgrade Show Episode 36 with Jesse Lawler

In this episode of the Flowgrade Show with Smart Drug Smarts host Jesse Lawler you will learn what happens to your neurochemistry when you fall in love.

“Human-beings do stupid things in order to get money for drugs. They do the same to win their ex-partner back.” – Jesse Lawler

“Short answer: YES! Happy to talk about love. Long-distance man-hug from this side of the Atlantic.” Jesse’s emails always seem to radiate positive energy mixed with activism.

The email came shortly after I asked the Oregonian smart drug expert if we could record on the subject of being in love, falling out of love and the involved neurochemicals in the process.

I had just gone through a tough break-up and couldn’t wrap my mind around anything else. Thanks to Jesse, I could turn this setback into an opportunity to learn something new.

Jesse Lawler is an entrepreneur, filmmaker, cyclist, podcaster and quite a biohacking nerd. Jesse hosts the very successful Smart Drug Smarts Podcast, he also is the co-founder of the Nootropics-Company Axon Labs and a successful software developer. A real jack of all trades, Jesse has also dabbled in Hollywood-screenwriting, travel photography and coding software for breweries before finding his current calling.


Jesse and I met at the Biohacker Summit in Helsinki where we both spoke and then spent an entire weekend on a Finnish-style camping adventure with fellow biohackers Teemu Arina, Ben Greenfield, Dr. Rhonda Patrick and several others going from smoke saunas to icy rivers to sleeping in the woods (more info on this transcendental trip in the episode).

We’ve remained friends ever since and I am very excited to present to you this highly entertaining neuro-hacking mastermind from the other side of the Atlantic.

Notice to all smart drug fans: Jesse’s website is full of information on pretty much any nootropic you’ve heard of (and more). On the site, you can also find my favorite episodes of the Smart Drug Smarts Podcast so make sure to check it out!

In this episode, you’ll learn how your brain behaves when you fall for another person. Love love love!



  • 2:30 – Why Jesse wants a floating tank in his basement
  • 6:30 – Why love and relationships have become tougher nowadays
  • 12:30 – About your hormonal changes when you fall in love
  • 23:00 – The effects of sperm and seminal fluid on the woman
  • 26:00 – What happens after the honeymoon phase
  • 29:30 – About the withdrawal symptoms after breaking up
  • 34:00 – How Jesse would get over a breakup today
  • 39:00 – About indicators for successful relationships
  • 41:30 – On epigenetics and innate fears
  • 43:30 – The influence of porn on our brains
  • 51:00 – Environmental factors which influence our perspective on relationships
  • 54:00 – Why it makes sense to study the biochemistry of love


  • Love and learning belong together.
  • Adolescents today have their first sexual experiences with their computers.
  • Once we don’t have to learn more about our partner, dopamine production drops.
  • Listen to your friends when it comes to your relationship.
  • Withdrawal after drug use and breaking up are very similar.


About Floating

Smart Drug Smarts Episode on Oxytocin



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